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     Here I go again.... seconds after feeling those lovey-dovey, mush-gushy feelings towards my kids, I'm instantly swept away with visions of hanging them up by their ankles and flogging them with wet noodles. This emotional pendullum that I ride on is literally going to make me crazy (or has it already??). Not that I want to say that my feelings for my kids are circumstantial... that would be wrong (that would be wrong, right?), but when Cameon makes me a loving card one minute and then lies directly to my face the next, it's a legitimate struggle not to give him a shovel and tell him to start digging (don't stop till you reach the 6 foot mark, my friend!).
     For whatever reason, both kids were out of their minds this weekend (hooray for long weekends off of school). Not only were they at each other's throats, but they were insanely hyperactive, impulsive, and downright disobedient. My blesssed mother-in-law babysat for us and I doubt she will ever volunteer again... not that I can blame her. When the kids intentionally don't wear their seat belts and then taunt her about it, call 9-1-1 from her house phone and then lie their pants off, and the projectile vomiting that followed throughout the night, I wouldn't be willing to enlist in that war again either! Then, after Cam and Tay rifled through her belongings, Cameron thought it would be awesome to steal from his grandmother... and then make up a completely fabricated story to explain how he got the loot. And THEN he lied repeatedly to try to get Taylor in trouble.
     Naturally, Cameron is the victim in all of this. Obviously. I'm a mean mom, Dad's a mean dad, Taylor's the worst sister possible. That's why he smashed her water bottle to bits and broke her toy bin.... and then blamed her for it (AGAIN). And this was on top of all the normal everyday things they do that drive me bonkers (writing in toothpaste on the mirror the second I've finished cleaning the house, flooding the bathroom during their showers, leaving every light on in the house, showing complete inability to pick up their toys, and the constant throwing of clean clothes into the dirty clothes hamper). We had Cameron tested.... he's well into the average range with his IQ, so he's obviously not stupid (Taylor, we just don't know about yet), so WHY in the world does he put more of an effort into making my scream than simply using his powers for good??
     Weekends used to be my time to recover from the long week.... but now, I can't wait to go back to work. I need more of a break from these ridiculous children than from busting my butt at work and dealing with severely mentally ill clients. I just don't have time for all this nonsense! Is this normal?? Do Moms feel this way regularly or are my kids worse than the general population? I remember nannying for several different families and never having feelings of utter madness like this.... did I just get old and less tolerant? Or are these knuckleheads beyond ridiculous?