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     Ever have a day where you're pretty sure you'll scream if you see one more drop of urine? (Ever write a blog where your opening line is about urine??) When I get done with my job, I generally feel the urge to shower. Many of the homes that I enter throughout my day smell of urine, mold, garbage, or worse (and yes, it DOES get worse). So after touching and sitting on things in their homes for 8 hours, I have an overall feeling of Oh-My-Gosh-What's-Touching-Me!?!?!. What's bad, however, is when you get that feeling in your own home. After being coughed and sneezed on (numerous times) by all 3 sick members of my family, and spit on by Cameron's congested, slobbering mouth while I helped him with his homework, I was starting to feel a bit squeemish. But when we add the thrill of cleaning up (and stepping in) pee all evening, I realize it's no wonder so many parents self-medicate. (In fact, there's an allergy pill with a Nyquil chaser just calling my name....)
     Now, I understand that little boys have difficulty aiming while in the restroom. But I also know that my son is INSANELY lazy when it comes to all things bathroom related (the skidmarks in his drawers convinced me of that months ago, along with his ability to take a 30 minute shower without washing a single body part). Not only were there yellow trails and sprinkles all over the seat and the floor of our full bath, but it was also all over the lid and tank of the commode... I can only imagine the scenario that occured... my kid in there, probably trying to watch a stink bug fly around the room, all the while peeing on everything in his way as he turned his head to and fro. And if we're gonna pee on the entire room, there's obviously no need to flush the toilet.... afterall, it would totally take away from the experience if we DIDN'T have 10hr urine smelling up the house.
     And although he is "house broken"... Cameron still has the occasional accident at bedtime. And when it's an accident, I've assured him that I will not be mad, but that I need to know ASAP so that we can wash his clothes BEFORE he sticks them in the hamper and BEFORE he pulls his comforter up over amonia-soaked sheets. So, imagine my horror (and nausea) as I cleaned out his pajama drawer tonight and found a wadded up pair of pj bottoms that were still damp, the odor making me instantly toss them across the room? Picture a colony of asparagus-eating hippies all trying to save water, relieving themselves in a communal bucket. Yes. THAT is what my kid's jammies were marinating in.... along with all the other pajamas next to them in the drawer. So we spent the entire night washing our clothes, bedding, and drawers. (I won't even go into detail about how Pat or Taylor, not sure which, locked Cameron and myself in the basement while we were doing said laundry....and then left to go to the store.)
     But let's not leave the sweet little princess out of the fun! She does, afterall, feel the need to copy her brother at every turn, even if that means doing something utterly ridiculous (such as peeing all over the floor NEXT to the toilet when she "couldn't make it"). Now, it's not that I don't believe her, it's just that she has done this before.... and the timing was just too coincidental for me to really be convinced that this wasn't a planned event. Either way, intentional or unintintional, her apology to me and my wet feet after I stepped (AND SLIPPED) in the urine didn't make me feel the slightest bit comforted. I told her (again!) that if she has an accident she HAS to tell an adult so we can clean it up with bleach, not just smear it around with a wad of toilet paper.
     Ready for the kicker? She informs me that she DID tell.... she told my husband! Who then told the 4-year-old to go clean it up!! So, she can't consistently count to 10, but she has been promoted to Bathroom Aficionado for the evening, courtesy of her father. (Taylor can't reach the cleaning products, and even if she could, SHE'S 4!!!) His response when I questioned his judgement call on this one? "I thought she only dripped on the floor a little...."
     All I can say is that my feet didn't want to step in ANY amount of pee. But that's just me. And for the record, my dog just sneezed all over my leg. So, I'm going to bed before anymore bodily fluids can assault me. 

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