After being gone to work for almost 14 hours today, I got home and realized that I really haven't seen my husband for more than 5 minutes. So when I sat down to write tonight, I summoned him for some much needed inspiration for the blog. As we sat thinking, he blurts out, "You could write about my toad!" I sighed and responded, "Honey, no one wants to read about your toad... toads aren't funny, and it really has nothing to do with our first year of marriage." He, however, insisted that his toad story is witty and that everyone loves a good animal story (even though toads are closer to the Ick kingdom than the Animal kingdom in my opinion). But I, falling short on brain power AND creativity, have decided to appease him. Thus, here is the story of Pat's toad.
    Once upon a time, in a castle (garage) far, far away (well, at least a good 50 yards from the house), lived a chubby green toad. Despite his fear of the vicious, hairy, beasts that roam the land (the dogs, not my husband), the toad found courage to one day make his presence known to Prince Reads-A-Lot, who commonly occupied the castle. After many a fortnight (didn't think I'd ever get a chance to use THAT word in a blog) watching the Prince faithfully recline in his lawnchair throne, book always in hand, under the buzzing glow of the moon (energy-saving, bug-attracting, garage light), the toad knew that he was to befriend Prince Reads-A-Lot. So night after night, he inched closer to the royal lawnchair, hopping to and fro, careful not to disturb the enthroned reader, until a mutual comfort formed between the two companions. The Prince, seeing that the toad looked hungry, was eager to put him to work. The toad, seeing the Prince being assaulted by large, winged creatures, knew that he was the man (toad) for the job.
    The friendship between the Prince and his toad grew as the Prince sat, night after night, reading and swatting.... the toad flicking his long, quick tongue to spare the Prince from being attacked. As time passed, even the beasts of the land grew to respect the toad and his loyal work for the kingdom. Unfortunately, Princess Sneezes-A-Lot, being highly allergic to all things big and small, reprimanded the Prince for his close acquaintaince with the toad. Afterall, who ever heard of friend that gives you warts? The Prince reminded his beautiful Princess (oh yes, I went there.... it's my blog, darn it, and I'll make me beautiful if I want!) that his friend, though lowly and basically disgusting, was serving her highness's allergy need by eating the creatures that leave Princess Sneezes-A-Lot red and itchy. (This is where my husband's story ends....)
     (This is where MY story begins....) The Princess, overcome with gratitude toward the toad, rushes to the lawnchair, bends down, and places a kiss on the top of his head. Then, the toad turns into Channing Tatum and the two of them ride off in a Chariot Grand Prix, ditching the Prince and his stupid story.

    The End