Milk jug. Empty cereal box. Glasses case and contact solution. Dirty towel. Water bottle. Coffee mug. No, this is not a psychological word association activity....but these various household items do have something in common. They are the things that my husband religiously leaves out instead of putting away. (I'm not saying that there aren't 20-30 other things constantly out of place due to his willy-nilly ways, but these are the ones that I have learned I can rely on daily, as constant as a sunrise and his morning grunts.) I've started wondering if he intentionally empties milk down the drain so that he can leave the jug next to the sink instead of in the recycling bag... 3 feet away. What baffles me more is when the man eats the rest of the cereal and then leaves the empty, uncrushed box DIRECTLY NEXT TO THE GARBAGE! He actually had to walk the box TO the garbage but couldn't be bothered to lift the lid? I mean, what's next, pooping NEXT to the toilet? Sleeping NEXT to the bed?
    So this morning, when I decide to mention this absurd pattern he has developed, the man had the nerve (THE NERVE!) to look at me and say, "I think you're gonna start your period soon."
    If my uterus had even just one leg with a steel-toed boot on it, it would've jumped out of me to kick him square in the groin. Because OBVIOUSLY only an emotional, bleeding woman would want her husband to throw trash INTO the trash can. There could be no other explaination! So from now on, I will make sure that I VERY clearly preface each request with, "Even though I'm NOT on my period, could you find it in your heart, dear, to put your dirty mug in the sink?".... and then I'm gonna slap a feminine pad onto the back of his shirt and wish him a good day.